Wedding bells!!!

I jumped off the high speed train (when it stopped) and was greeted by an excited guy with a huge smile. “Great to see you. Glad you’re home. Come on! Let’s go an have a picnic by the lake.”

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down. My news first! I’ve just been in Denmark visiting a friend for a week. I saw the Little Mermaid and went inside a tv news studio and played with lego and we walked 15-20 km nearly every day! Actually, I’ve been on a train for 7 hours and I want to sleep. Can we do the picnic tomorrow?”

Another ice-cream with Marie in Copenhagen

With the Little Mermaid

In the international news studio of Denmark TV

The next afternoon, we arrived at Baldernäs. A lovely park on the edge of a lake with sprawling grounds, ancient trees and a stately old mansion. We sat with our backs to a derelict boat shed radiating heat from the sinking sun. Our picnic was duly set up and shared with the scavenging ducks, daring them to eat from our hands.

The mansion at Baldernäs

Sunset from our picnic viewpoint

Selfies by the boat shed

We’d been taking photos of the views, so when Kristian asked me to “stand over there facing away from me”, I didn’t think anything of it. Until he asked me to turn around. He was down on one knee holding a stunning heart shaped necklace and asked me to marry him. 

I couldn’t think. I was speechless (and that’s pretty rare!) I realised later that he had planned to do this the night I got home from Denmark, but I had thwarted his plans with my stories and sleepiness. Oops...

Despite NZ and Sweden both being pretty standard, western countries, we found out so many little cultural differences connected to weddings. All of which brought varying amounts of tears and laughter, arguments and acceptance. 

For example, both the man and women get an engagement ring in Sweden. The rings match, are engraved with something inside and are what Kiwi’s would call a normal wedding ring. Then, at the wedding ceremony, the bride gets another ring while the groom doesn’t, what Kiwi’s would call an engagement ring. We opted for a mixture of both cultures, getting matching, engraved wedding rings that we swapped during the ceremony. (When we got the rings back from the engravers, I nearly sent them back as I thought they’d mucked them up. The date was written 20/9-14, not a format I was accustomed to but apparently quite normal in Sweden!)

Another difference is that in NZ, the bride usually walks down the aisle with her father. While in Sweden, it is common for the bride and groom to walk down the aisle together. This was an easy decision as my parents were unable to make the long journey over from NZ. 

Walking up towards the church together

Which was also the part I struggled with the most. My parents and family are so important to me, as are Kristian’s family to him. But I knew wherever we got married, one family wouldn’t be present. I so missed having mum around to go and look at wedding dresses, to talk to about hair styles and help plan the food (all the little things that girls love to do!) But I am so grateful to my new girlfriends and family who went out of their way to help and made the planning and lead up to our wedding just as enjoyable. And the internet really is a wonderful invention. I chewed through our data allowance in those 2 months with more frequent skype chats to mum and dad, as well as sending photos and email updates every other day. 

There were only 2 conditions I was insistent on about getting married in Sweden. The first was that Kristian had to be there :), the second was having a wedding by wifi. A live video link allowed my parents, brothers and several other family members and friends to witness the ceremony - all with the best view at the front of the church.

Wedding by wifi screen shot

We wanted our wedding to be relaxed where the main focus was celebrating and enjoying the day with friends and family. And it was.

We set the tone for the day by sending out invitations via facebook, email and a blog post. Ties would be frowned upon. Jeans were allowed.  

Swedish version of the wedding invites

We woke on our wedding day to heavy mist settled in the trees and over the lakes. It was a surreal morning that became a stunning, warm, sunny day.

Heavy mist around Varviks church

Mist around the lakes in the morning for a few pre-wedding pics

The ceremony was simple, yet touching. We walked in to a live version of Fields of Gold by Sting (aka Ingemar - a musician from the church). A wave of emotions hit me and I almost burst into tears when I first entered the church. To see so many friends smiling back at us. Realisation hitting me about what we were doing. And yet feeling so comfortable with the setting, the day ahead and my soulmate next to me. 

Final touch-ups before heading into the church

Walking down the aisle

Henrik (the pastor) did a fabulous job of conducting the ceremony in English so I knew what I was promising Kristian! And everyone started clapping in time as we danced out to One Love by Bob Marley. 

"Congratulations, you are now married!"

Our 'first' kiss

Dancing back down the aisle

The rest of the day passed in a whirlwind of energy. There were games for guests to play while we had some photos taken after the ceremony. 

At the platform we swam from most mornings in summer

Photobomb by the fisherman!

A smorgasbord of fresh meats, salads, fruit, cheese, cakes chocolate and strong Swedish coffee kept everyone satisfied. Pavlova’s were our wedding cakes - some topped with kiwifruit, others with fresh Swedish wild berries. Lots of people gave speeches in a mixture of English, Swedish and Swenglish. And as there were no seating arrangements, the MC’s played musical chairs a couple of times to mix everyone up and keep the conversations changing. 

The reception venue...before everyone arrived and made it messy :)

We are slowly working our way south and will have a wedding ceremony of some sort when we get to NZ. Until then, more ocean depths blog posts will follow!

Laughing all day

Reflections of my life on Naifaru

Does anyone remember The Sunscreen Song? It's pretty old!  It starts:

"Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99 

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be  it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience…I will dispense this advice now"

So in the same spirit as the original version...here is my sunscreen song...

1. I need very few things around me to be comfortable and content. People are so much more important

2. Talk to people. Even if you don't speak the language, there are ways to communicate. (And a smile goes a long way!)

3. Learn the local language. It helps with making friends, being accepted into a community and finding out what is going on around the place

4. Keep going, even when you're tired or hungry or grumpy

5. Get involved in everything that comes up. You never know if an opportunity will be the only one

6. Wander around aimlessly and explore hidden streets. The are all sorts of interesting people, random shops and cute animals hiding in unexpected places

7. Be aware of all your actions and make sure you do what you say you're going to

8. Find exciting and interesting and new ways to expand people's minds

9. Don't judge other cultures against your own

10. Do what the locals do

11. Turn off the TV

12. Try the local food...exactly the way the locals do. Even if it means trying something you have never thought of as 'food', eating with your hands, dealing with a constant onslaught of flies and having mealtimes at completely different times

13. Politics are everywhere. Find ways to get your work done anyway

14. Be flexible with your time, with your priorities and with your expectations

15. Be patient with others. Not everyone has had the same training or experiences as me. Likewise, I need others to be patient with me too

16. Take loads of photos (and sort them as you go!)

17. Give your camera to someone else for a day (who you trust). You'd be amazed at some of the cool pics that come back

18. Respect others beliefs. You don't need to agree with them, just remember everyone is entitled to their own personal beliefs

19. Sleep when you can. All-nighters watching for nesting turtles take their tole

20. Take time out at least once a week to reflect on what you've done and learned

21. Keep a diary - or better yet a blog (chrysalismegan.blogspot.com)! It's fun, an easy way to keep in touch with loads of people and fab to look back on and see how your experiences shape your mind and actions in the future

22. Take cooking lessons and learn to cook the local cuisine

23. Relax in your own way

24. When you muck up, find a way to fix it, decide what to do next time and keep going

25. Don't take yourself too seriously

26. Try something new everyday...like climbing a coconut tree without a ladder, playing football on a coral pitch or sleeping under the stars

27. If your actions are not giving you the results you want, do something different (anything different!) and see what happens

28. Wear sunscreen! Your face and body will love you for it in the years to come

29. Adapt to the local ways of doing things

30. Back up your photos and work to multiple places/ devices often

31. Have fun! And find new ways to have fun (like playing a game of tackle rugby on a deserted island sandpit at 2 am!)

 

Bye Naifaru and all my wonderful friends there.  I will miss you but you will always have a special place in my heart. xxx