Wedding bells!!!

I jumped off the high speed train (when it stopped) and was greeted by an excited guy with a huge smile. “Great to see you. Glad you’re home. Come on! Let’s go an have a picnic by the lake.”

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! Slow down. My news first! I’ve just been in Denmark visiting a friend for a week. I saw the Little Mermaid and went inside a tv news studio and played with lego and we walked 15-20 km nearly every day! Actually, I’ve been on a train for 7 hours and I want to sleep. Can we do the picnic tomorrow?”

Another ice-cream with Marie in Copenhagen

With the Little Mermaid

In the international news studio of Denmark TV

The next afternoon, we arrived at Baldernäs. A lovely park on the edge of a lake with sprawling grounds, ancient trees and a stately old mansion. We sat with our backs to a derelict boat shed radiating heat from the sinking sun. Our picnic was duly set up and shared with the scavenging ducks, daring them to eat from our hands.

The mansion at Baldernäs

Sunset from our picnic viewpoint

Selfies by the boat shed

We’d been taking photos of the views, so when Kristian asked me to “stand over there facing away from me”, I didn’t think anything of it. Until he asked me to turn around. He was down on one knee holding a stunning heart shaped necklace and asked me to marry him. 

I couldn’t think. I was speechless (and that’s pretty rare!) I realised later that he had planned to do this the night I got home from Denmark, but I had thwarted his plans with my stories and sleepiness. Oops...

Despite NZ and Sweden both being pretty standard, western countries, we found out so many little cultural differences connected to weddings. All of which brought varying amounts of tears and laughter, arguments and acceptance. 

For example, both the man and women get an engagement ring in Sweden. The rings match, are engraved with something inside and are what Kiwi’s would call a normal wedding ring. Then, at the wedding ceremony, the bride gets another ring while the groom doesn’t, what Kiwi’s would call an engagement ring. We opted for a mixture of both cultures, getting matching, engraved wedding rings that we swapped during the ceremony. (When we got the rings back from the engravers, I nearly sent them back as I thought they’d mucked them up. The date was written 20/9-14, not a format I was accustomed to but apparently quite normal in Sweden!)

Another difference is that in NZ, the bride usually walks down the aisle with her father. While in Sweden, it is common for the bride and groom to walk down the aisle together. This was an easy decision as my parents were unable to make the long journey over from NZ. 

Walking up towards the church together

Which was also the part I struggled with the most. My parents and family are so important to me, as are Kristian’s family to him. But I knew wherever we got married, one family wouldn’t be present. I so missed having mum around to go and look at wedding dresses, to talk to about hair styles and help plan the food (all the little things that girls love to do!) But I am so grateful to my new girlfriends and family who went out of their way to help and made the planning and lead up to our wedding just as enjoyable. And the internet really is a wonderful invention. I chewed through our data allowance in those 2 months with more frequent skype chats to mum and dad, as well as sending photos and email updates every other day. 

There were only 2 conditions I was insistent on about getting married in Sweden. The first was that Kristian had to be there :), the second was having a wedding by wifi. A live video link allowed my parents, brothers and several other family members and friends to witness the ceremony - all with the best view at the front of the church.

Wedding by wifi screen shot

We wanted our wedding to be relaxed where the main focus was celebrating and enjoying the day with friends and family. And it was.

We set the tone for the day by sending out invitations via facebook, email and a blog post. Ties would be frowned upon. Jeans were allowed.  

Swedish version of the wedding invites

We woke on our wedding day to heavy mist settled in the trees and over the lakes. It was a surreal morning that became a stunning, warm, sunny day.

Heavy mist around Varviks church

Mist around the lakes in the morning for a few pre-wedding pics

The ceremony was simple, yet touching. We walked in to a live version of Fields of Gold by Sting (aka Ingemar - a musician from the church). A wave of emotions hit me and I almost burst into tears when I first entered the church. To see so many friends smiling back at us. Realisation hitting me about what we were doing. And yet feeling so comfortable with the setting, the day ahead and my soulmate next to me. 

Final touch-ups before heading into the church

Walking down the aisle

Henrik (the pastor) did a fabulous job of conducting the ceremony in English so I knew what I was promising Kristian! And everyone started clapping in time as we danced out to One Love by Bob Marley. 

"Congratulations, you are now married!"

Our 'first' kiss

Dancing back down the aisle

The rest of the day passed in a whirlwind of energy. There were games for guests to play while we had some photos taken after the ceremony. 

At the platform we swam from most mornings in summer

Photobomb by the fisherman!

A smorgasbord of fresh meats, salads, fruit, cheese, cakes chocolate and strong Swedish coffee kept everyone satisfied. Pavlova’s were our wedding cakes - some topped with kiwifruit, others with fresh Swedish wild berries. Lots of people gave speeches in a mixture of English, Swedish and Swenglish. And as there were no seating arrangements, the MC’s played musical chairs a couple of times to mix everyone up and keep the conversations changing. 

The reception venue...before everyone arrived and made it messy :)

We are slowly working our way south and will have a wedding ceremony of some sort when we get to NZ. Until then, more ocean depths blog posts will follow!

Laughing all day

Naked men, fermented fish and frogs

Sitting in a hot, wooden room with a naked, beer drinking, male stranger is not something I expected to do when I first came to Sweden. 

Thankfully, Bjorn walked into the sauna first and warned me so I managed to miss that experience. However, once said male stranger had consumed his beer, covered his nakedness and vacated the room (30 minutes later), I was free to experience a sauna - Swedish style.

The sauna room

It’s pretty simple really. Light a fire in the corner and keep it stoked with logs. Throw a bit of water on the coals occasionally to keep the humidity up. When you can’t think straight, walk outside and jump into an icy cold river. Repeat.

The icy cold river with mist just starting to appear

Imagine going from 40 degree super-dry heat to suddenly being plunged into 6 degree flowing water. I chickened out the first time and only went up to my knees in the river. But needing to experience the tradition completely, after warming up a second time, I jumped right in. 

Halfway in the first time

Under completely this time

My skin instantly started prickling and tingling everywhere. My brain went into hyperdrive. My eyes focused on a single object - the ladder out. My heart rate went up to 350 beats per minute…or maybe it dropped to 15 beats per minute. I don't know. I was instantly addicted! In search of a repeat of the hit, I jumped between the steamy sauna and the freezing river a couple more times.

After the hit

Fikka is a very important part of Swedish culture and one of my favourite things. If you go to someone’s place, it’s a matter of minutes before you’re offered coffee and usually some sort of cake, bread or sweets. The coffee comes predominantly in one form - strong and black. (I did choke down one cup of the brew and stayed awake for the next 24 hours. Now I ask for hot water and milk and mix the 3 liquids in equal quantities). 

Fikka can include ice-cream too!

Fikka is as much about chatting as it is eating and drinking and it’s easy to sit down for an hour simply enjoying the time with friends. And you can have fikka anytime, anywhere. If we’re going on a long drive, we often take a thermos of coffee (plus hot water and milk) and something to munch on, and stop at one of the many lakes or rest areas for a break. 

Fikka at a bird nature reserve

Surströmming is not for the faint hearted or for anyone with an oversensitive sense of smell. Everything you have seen or heard about how putrid the smell and taste of this fish is, falls way short. All those youtube videos of people vomiting when a can is cracked open are for real. 

Bjorn arranged for a surströmming party to allow me (and 4 Swedish friends) a chance to experience this tradition. I knew I had every reason to be concerned when I first saw the can. It was bulging, so there had to be some serious chemical reactions going on inside. As soon as the can was pierced, liquid shot a metre into the air and a strange rancid odour filled the air. Mikael and I instantly started gagging, the others weren’t far behind. And the smell didn’t go away! Even the cat had more sense than to get too close.

The bulging tin

Stand well clear when opening

I had to question if this really was fit for human consumption

It doesn't even look appealing

The cat actually looked scared!

This fish has the ability to overwhelm and stick to anything it comes into contact with. A minuscule portion wrapped in potato, creme fraiche and bread was enough to taint the other flavours and ruin normal food. We even washed all our clothes when we got home as the smell of surströmming seemed to have stuck to our clothes. I can tick that one off the list but will be happy if I never have to smell it again!

Sweden is a country with around 97,000 lakes. So it makes sense that swimming is a popular summer time activity. The lakes are beautiful to swim in. The fresh water is so refreshing and the only place for a ‘shower’ when you’re out on a camping or boating trip. We often go snorkelling and watch pike hang motionless in the grass or perch that zap around just out of reach. 

Baby pike (about 5cm long)

Stripy perch with bright orange fins

Everyone seems to get changed in and out of their bathing costumes under a towel on the beach. It took me a while to get used to this, even longer to figure out how to get changed without flashing random strangers. I nearly have the hang of it…nearly.

One of the smaller lakes...at midnight

I reasoned that with so many lakes around, it should be easy to swim in at least 15 different lakes. While I went swimming most days over summer, it was quite late in the season when I finally made number 15. And while it was a lovely, sunny day, the water was only about 17 degrees...

Finally, lake #15!

Midsummers is one day of the year the Swedes really let their hair down. It is celebrated on the Friday nearest the longest day of the year and is to welcome summer and the season of fertility. The tradition states that you collect branches, leaves and wild flowers, construct a maypole and then dance around it singing songs. I personally think this festival takes the award for the quirkiest event I’ve experienced in the Swedish calendar. 

Wild flowers collected for the maypole

Construction begins

Everyone gets involved

Posing for pics

The frog song is the silliest and most well known song of the midsummer festival. We sang the nonsense song about a små grodorna (a small frog) that has no ears or tail and jumped around the maypole with our hands flapping behind us like a tail. 

Our completed midsummers maypole

After midsummers, wild berry picking trips to the forest begin. (This is where allemansrätten is fantastic as you can pick berries almost anywhere). The berry picking season starts with cloudberries (hjortron). These orange-yellow cloud-shaped berries grow in wet, swampy areas and can be hard to find. They have an exquisite taste, like nothing I’ve ever tasted before and go perfectly with wine and cheese.

Wild, swampy areas where you hunt cloudberries

Cloudberries ripening

Best way to eat cloudberry jam

Raspberries (hallon) ripen next. These are a little trickier to pick because of the spikes on the bushes. For me, it’s a small price to pay for being able to eat unlimited raspberries!

Blueberries are next in line. You can pick these by hand or use a berry picker. This contraption allows you to pick lots of berries at once meaning you can easily pick a couple of litres a very short time. And finally, bright red lingon berries are ready. Like the blueberries, these can be picked quickly with a berry picker.

Picking blueberries with the berry picker

Sorting blueberries is not so much fun

We simply freeze the fresh berries and either defrost a few for breakfast each morning or make them into jam. It’s been such a novelty for me to be able to eat as many blueberries as I like and these wild ones have so much more flavour than the farmed variety.

Towards the end of summer, mushrooms begin to sprout up everywhere. Kanterell’s are everyones favourite and it can be a race to get to the best spots to pick them first. And they are so simple to cook. A cast iron frying pan, a lot of butter, splashes of pepper and you’re done. There are so many different species of mushrooms and toadstools growing. A few are edible but many are not, and every year people end up in hospital having mixed up some of the edible/inedible mushrooms. 

They look beautiful, but you can't eat these...

...or these...

...or even these...

So there’s a few of the Swedish traditions and events I’ve experienced in the short time I’ve been here. They have enriched my time here and I've had so much fun participating. I’m really looking forward to spending a winter here and seeing what events pop up that have to be tried at least once (anyone for ice swimming???)